is your mom at the bar?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
