she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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