That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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