You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
