You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
