Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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