he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
