My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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