I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
