Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
