i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
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um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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