you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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