she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
