why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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