I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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