he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
