Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
