he puts the penis in happiness.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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