Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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