my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
