You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
