i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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