I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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