Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My pussy is not your playground.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
