a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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