I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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