So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
