Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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