You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
where does the pee come out of this thing
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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