i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
