I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
