Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
