Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
