May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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