He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm both gender and math confused
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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