um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
