Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
