It's Friday. Sex?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
