Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
