I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize