I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
