idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
