Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
