I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
