She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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