onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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