Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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