His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
