You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
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The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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