I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
