you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
