Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize