i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
