You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
