I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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