So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
