2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
