She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
