Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
operation harelip BJ is a go
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
