You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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