Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
