Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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