on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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