The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
