Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
