GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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