dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
