they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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