i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
