I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
PANTIES FOUND
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
