my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
