She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
