If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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