i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize