i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
