hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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